Here yar.

As promised, a commentary on the Minnesota accent.

Before I moved here, I had some idea of how Minnesotans talked, based on my experiences making fun of my good friend Jason. When I decided to move up here, there were movies that I was required to watch in order to understand northern life, like Fargo, Grumpy Old Men, and Drop Dead Gorgeous.
Jason assured me it wasn’t as bad as it is in the movies.
Yes, it is.
I’m used to it by now, and even sometimes picking things up (heaven forbid by May I come back talking like them!)

To begin, I’d like to observe that a lot of people up here don’t even really know where Tennessee is, other than “South somewhere, and sort of east?” Yes, that’s about right. A coworker of mine told me about how she couldn’t remember where I was from and was trying to describe it so a friend: “East, and maybe from Kentucky?” I’ve also talked to people that thought Tennessee was north of Kentucky. Not saying people up here are dumb, just that they apparently don’t think much of the eastern/southern states. That’s all right. Before I moved here, I was unsure of how all these weird Midwestern states fit together, also I frequently forgot that Nebraska existed. Now I know not only how things fit together, but also that just everyone around Iowa makes fun of Iowa – even Iowa makes fun of Iowa. And, if I hadn’t traveled around New England, I wouldn’t know how all those little Northeast states fit together. So, I’m not blaming anyone.

Initially, the most obvious difference to me is the word “Bag.” (and all other words ending in –ag. Bag, flag, snag, etc) The way I pronounce it, of course, is the correct way. The vowel “a” in “bag” is the same as in the word “back.” Minnesotans say “baig” as in, rhymes with “vague.” I was told by a local that if they heard me say the word “snag” like I say it, they wouldn’t understand what I meant.
I pledge allegiance to the flaig, of the United States of America.
I'm gonna go snaig a nap while I have some time.
Man, this day is really draiggin’ by. Time is standing still.
(not to be confused with: Watch out for that draigon! He will burn you with his firey breath.)

Another difference is the “O” vowel. It’s longer, with a hint of “oo” in it. (As opposed to the apparent Maryland "O")
Hmm, here's a pretty good example of a ramble by a guy from northern Minnesota.


Myths:
-"Aboot." Canadians say aboot. Minnesotans do not really say abOUT, but its sort of a hybrid between about and aboat. What are you talking a boat?
-Also, a lot of people confuse Minnesota and Alaska. It’s similar, but I’ve found that when imitating a Minnesota accent, people automatically morph into Sarah Palin/Tina Fey exaggerated alayaskin accent. They are different.

Another large part of Minnesotan vocabulary has to do with football, which I don’t understand very well. I laughed to myself at the first person I came across that played fantasy football. I had always thought it was a lame thing that no one actually did. Come to find out, that EVERYONE here plays fantasy football. I stopped laughing – it’s apparently pretty legit. I asked a friend (a local Minneapolitan) if this was a really a thing. She told me it was pretty popular in the Midwest. I guess people in Iowa don’t really have much else to do besides eat pigs. (I recently found out that minnesota, iowa, nebraska, north carolina, and south dakota have more pigs than people) (I’m not complaining. I like pigs.) But, it's much more popular than I realized.

What do Minnesotans think of southern accents?
“I don't know... we like making fun of you, but at the same time it's cute”
“Well, you do that ‘y’all’ thing.”
"southern accents on guys make them sound less intelligent."

Things I’ve learned:
When youre in the minority, you can’t make fun of how they say things.
If you mention a “potatobug mandolin” in casual conversation, you will get blank stares.